Urgh – Once again I’m reminded that Queensland isn’t the most friendly state when it comes to sex workers. PLA (You know, the Prostitution Regulations Association, even though Prostitute is a known slur to sex workers. Oh and let’s not forget you can’t be a sex worker and sit on the PLA board..) regulations have been updated and it’s hit those who work in the area of Fetish.
Please take notice of the word ‘Fetish’ as it’s what I have to use to advertise. I can no longer use the B acronym as the PLA state it’s listing a service provided (which is against their advertising regulations in Queensland). Which seriously has to be one of the most ridiculous laws you can think of. How are people meant to know who is a sex worker and who isn’t when you can’t list services you provide? Let me guess… won’t somebody think of the children!
The second most rediculous law would be that you can’t have any B acronym images on websites or adverts. Which mean’s I just had to gut my website. I’ll be very interested to see what they do with places like Twitter which are the wild west at the best of times.
2016 has been an interesting year.
Late 2015 I decided that I wanted to expand my skills and services. This came about from the number of men who contacted me who were not looking for BDSM, but looking to experience a male to male connection, explore their sexuality or learn more about sex and their bodies.
At first I turned these down, as it wasn’t in the skill set I’d mentally set for myself. As time went on and these calls became more and more frequent it dawned on me that this might actually be something to explore. Around this time I had been pondering just what my future was going to hold. I’d been kicking around the idea of doing some further education, and of course it would make sense for me to pursue something in sexuality. There is very little in the way of courses out there for this topic in Australia, seeing as we generally are quite conservative and prudish when it comes to sex and sexuality, especially if it’s not mechanical heterosexual in it’s flavor.
When I was in the USA last year I had the fortune of stumbling across someone who was a sexologist in a tiny American town to the north. He spoke to me about what he did and the course he took, also how much he enjoyed it. That stuck in my mind and when I started looking for courses in Australia I was disappointed to find they were more psychology “sit on my couch and let me assess you” style. At the time that was all I could find however so I considered doing a degree in either social work or psychology, and then going on to do a Masters in Sexology at Curtin University in Western Australia.
With a bit more internet sleuthing I stumbled across someone in the USA who had a great website, offered very similar services to my BDSM but also was a Somatic Body Worker. This was something I had not heard of, and after a bit of digging found the course and realized it was the same course that the person I had spoken to in the USA had done. Even more of a boon was that there was a course in Queensland!
So that leads me to here and now. I’ve just paid off the final payment for my 2017 course in Somatic Body Work and I’m just about to add a new tab to the website on non BDSM services I offer. and when I finish my course in late 2017 I’ll be able to offer another completely separate set of skills. Exciting stuff.
Pro Dom’s talk among each other, and one of the main gripes we have is the way people approach us. Please remember this is our passion and job. We are not 24/7 Fetish Fantasy machines that only exist to fulfill your desires – and while we do what we can to help we expect people to remember you want what we have and not the other way around.
These are written from my personal experiences as a Professional Sir who works with men, but I can tell you many of the Female Pro Dom’s on Fetlife echo my thoughts. These ladies however encounter these in far greater numbers that I ever do.
- Make sure you approach a Pro Dom with the same level of respect as you would ringing to apply for a job interview. If you are emailing or texting (remember not everyone will answer text messages) then be polite and to the point. Rambling, rude and disrespectful messages are the #1 bugbear of every Pro Dom I know.
- We love it if the person knows what they are looking for, however most people have no idea. Talk to the Pro Dom and try and give them an idea – HOWEVER we get numerous calls or messages from people who want you to spell out just what you are going to do to them. These people are never going to book a session and just want wank material. If the Pro Dom even gets a whiff of this expect to have your conversation cut very short.
- As with above let the Pro Dom know your level of experience – we like to hear it so we can plan.
- We don’t like pushy. Pushy lets us know you are not someone we want to have in our space. I recently had someone who got angry because I wasn’t answering his calls when he rang to see if he could book a session a few hours later – even though he knew I specifically ask for 24 hours notice. Our relationship ended very quickly. Please refer to point 1.
- We don’t want to see photos unless we have specifically asked for them. Unsolicited photos let us know you are probably never going to use our services and are just looking for wank material. So please don’t send dick photos, photos of your ass or photos of you in lingerie unless we ask.
- If we ask questions it’s because we want to know more. We get prank callers and while they are usually easy to sift through, sometimes it’s not that easy. We also get people who book a session and don’t show. The Pro Dom will want a contact phone number – and many won’t answer a blocked number to being with. If you are concerned about your privacy then let the Pro Dom know that you can’t take phone calls or won’t between certain hours, give a reason. We encounter this regularly and can happily work in with it.
- If you are calling or contacting a Pro Dom I’d suggest you have some idea you are expected to pay for the service. The second biggest bugbear we face is people who want to quibble over the price or even expect it for free.
A session with a Pro Dom should be like treating yourself to a fine dinner at an expensive restaurant – not McDonalds. I can’t stress this enough – and you wouldn’t do it to your Doctor, Mechanic or Dentist. Again see point 1.
Overall we expect a level of respect and common courtesy. I know myself I don’t expect to be treated like a god, demi or otherwise. If you come in acting like an ass you will be ignored very quickly.