2016 has been an interesting year.
Late 2015 I decided that I wanted to expand my skills and services. This came about from the number of men who contacted me who were not looking for BDSM, but looking to experience a male to male connection, explore their sexuality or learn more about sex and their bodies.
At first I turned these down, as it wasn’t in the skill set I’d mentally set for myself. As time went on and these calls became more and more frequent it dawned on me that this might actually be something to explore. Around this time I had been pondering just what my future was going to hold. I’d been kicking around the idea of doing some further education, and of course it would make sense for me to pursue something in sexuality. There is very little in the way of courses out there for this topic in Australia, seeing as we generally are quite conservative and prudish when it comes to sex and sexuality, especially if it’s not mechanical heterosexual in it’s flavor.
When I was in the USA last year I had the fortune of stumbling across someone who was a sexologist in a tiny American town to the north. He spoke to me about what he did and the course he took, also how much he enjoyed it. That stuck in my mind and when I started looking for courses in Australia I was disappointed to find they were more psychology “sit on my couch and let me assess you” style. At the time that was all I could find however so I considered doing a degree in either social work or psychology, and then going on to do a Masters in Sexology at Curtin University in Western Australia.
With a bit more internet sleuthing I stumbled across someone in the USA who had a great website, offered very similar services to my BDSM but also was a Somatic Body Worker. This was something I had not heard of, and after a bit of digging found the course and realized it was the same course that the person I had spoken to in the USA had done. Even more of a boon was that there was a course in Queensland!
So that leads me to here and now. I’ve just paid off the final payment for my 2017 course in Somatic Body Work and I’m just about to add a new tab to the website on non BDSM services I offer. and when I finish my course in late 2017 I’ll be able to offer another completely separate set of skills. Exciting stuff.
It’s pretty sad when people, especially other people working in this field, feel so threatened that they have to spread false and misleading information about myself and my services. Perhaps rather than attacking me – you should look at yourself and the services you offer.
Try at least to have a little dignity and self respect.
I’m more than happy to field any questions people have, either to my phone or via email, however anonymous trolling won’t be accepted or answered (and don’t forget that when you post you leave me your IP address). I have far better things to do with my time.
Saline injection has been something on my radar for a while now. It’s one of those unusual practices in the kink world that isn’t common and while it wasn’t a ‘must do’ kink for me it’s certainly something that planted a seed in my mind.
So when 13’s birthday came up I planned a saline injection session just for him. Under the watchful eyes of an experience saline practitioner (among other things) we took his balls for a spin. However firstly we made time to spread him eagle between my dungeon posts, give him some birthday gut punching and nipple torture.
The saline was an interesting experience and I’m almost keen to try it on myself. The saline stays in your system, fairly localized, for over 24hrs. 13 had an important appointment on the Monday so was a little worried about being stuck with elephant balls – so we put half a bag in at 500ml. Not too long after starting and with little effort his balls were an impressive size and after removing the needles and tape he enjoyed wobbling them around.
He told me later that day that he had an amazing wank.
There seems to be some confusion about the time I need before a session – but it’s very simple. I don’t sit in my dungeon waiting for the phone to ring. I lead a very busy life actually, between my partner of eight years, working another job, two collared slaves, a boy and pup under my training and volunteering heavily in the Brisbane Kink community.
For any session I also like time to prepare before hand. I’ll find out what you have done and put together a plan in my head from that discussion. Not having sessions booked the day before means I can also plan what I might do that night, or even enjoy a meal I wouldn’t normally eat (garlic prawns perhaps) if I was having a session the next day.
So while I’m flattered that you are so excited that you want a session at 4am in the morning with 30min notice before hand, chances are I won’t even be looking at my phone until 8am the next morning.
I also respect that you might also lead a busy life and be trying to juggle things as best as possible but the 24hr notice rule isn’t just some Dom mind game – it exists for a reason.
A first session with a Pro Dom should always be an exciting and nerve inducing experience – After all here is someone you know very little about, but will soon be surrendering to. Every man I have encountered for a first session has shown emotions ranging from a few butterflies in the stomach through to medium level anxiety and panic.
- It’s perfectly reasonable and normal to be nervous. Enjoy the feeling of being out of control and feeling alive.
- Check that you are feeling nervous for the right reasons. Hopefully by now if you are booking a session with a Pro Dom you have done your homework and know their skills and reputation.
- Let the Pro Dom know you are feeling nervous. I often get people to call me if I feel they are having a bad time before a session.
- A good Pro Dom will talk you through what to expect on the day of the session BEFORE you start.
- If when you turn up you are feeling very anxious let your Dominant know. If someone presents to a first session looking highly anxious I usually sit down with them and talk to them, or if they are ok with it give them a hug until they are feeling better.
So what can you expect when you book your first session with me?
I’ll talk to you about what is expected, ie. be showered and douched (if anal play is part of a session), be neither early or late and what to bring if anything. You can then ask me any questions before the day of the session. Payment is usually required before the session starts for first sessions.
What would a first time session entail?
On the day of the session I’ll meet you at the door and take you into the space and show you around. We will then talk about what you are expecting from the session and we will run through BDSM basics such as what a safe word is, if you have any injuries or areas I need to be aware of, and what we will be doing at the session. Depending on what the days actives entail I’ll show you what I’ll be using.
A good introductory session for me usually involves you kneeling on the mat naked. From there we will start with submissive/slave training, covering positions and getting you to worship my boots or body. I also tend to use rope bondage for beginners because it’s very tactile and combines well with other forms of BDSM play. At the end of the session you will kneel back on the matt at kiss my boots. From there I’ll get you to shower/dress and give you some sugar and a drink to keep sub drop away (more on this later). Here you can ask me questions although I usually suggest they wait a few days so things can solidify in your mind.
Pro Dom’s talk among each other, and one of the main gripes we have is the way people approach us. Please remember this is our passion and job. We are not 24/7 Fetish Fantasy machines that only exist to fulfill your desires – and while we do what we can to help we expect people to remember you want what we have and not the other way around.
These are written from my personal experiences as a Professional Sir who works with men, but I can tell you many of the Female Pro Dom’s on Fetlife echo my thoughts. These ladies however encounter these in far greater numbers that I ever do.
- Make sure you approach a Pro Dom with the same level of respect as you would ringing to apply for a job interview. If you are emailing or texting (remember not everyone will answer text messages) then be polite and to the point. Rambling, rude and disrespectful messages are the #1 bugbear of every Pro Dom I know.
- We love it if the person knows what they are looking for, however most people have no idea. Talk to the Pro Dom and try and give them an idea – HOWEVER we get numerous calls or messages from people who want you to spell out just what you are going to do to them. These people are never going to book a session and just want wank material. If the Pro Dom even gets a whiff of this expect to have your conversation cut very short.
- As with above let the Pro Dom know your level of experience – we like to hear it so we can plan.
- We don’t like pushy. Pushy lets us know you are not someone we want to have in our space. I recently had someone who got angry because I wasn’t answering his calls when he rang to see if he could book a session a few hours later – even though he knew I specifically ask for 24 hours notice. Our relationship ended very quickly. Please refer to point 1.
- We don’t want to see photos unless we have specifically asked for them. Unsolicited photos let us know you are probably never going to use our services and are just looking for wank material. So please don’t send dick photos, photos of your ass or photos of you in lingerie unless we ask.
- If we ask questions it’s because we want to know more. We get prank callers and while they are usually easy to sift through, sometimes it’s not that easy. We also get people who book a session and don’t show. The Pro Dom will want a contact phone number – and many won’t answer a blocked number to being with. If you are concerned about your privacy then let the Pro Dom know that you can’t take phone calls or won’t between certain hours, give a reason. We encounter this regularly and can happily work in with it.
- If you are calling or contacting a Pro Dom I’d suggest you have some idea you are expected to pay for the service. The second biggest bugbear we face is people who want to quibble over the price or even expect it for free.
A session with a Pro Dom should be like treating yourself to a fine dinner at an expensive restaurant – not McDonalds. I can’t stress this enough – and you wouldn’t do it to your Doctor, Mechanic or Dentist. Again see point 1.
Overall we expect a level of respect and common courtesy. I know myself I don’t expect to be treated like a god, demi or otherwise. If you come in acting like an ass you will be ignored very quickly.