I just returned from a trip to Country Victoria for a short week break. November is usually a quiet period while people plan for Christmas so it’s the perfect time. While there was some leather involved in the trip (and maybe a little bit of rope) it was pretty kink free which is a rarity.
It was very interesting to watch the countryside change from Queensland down through NSW to Victoria. Perhaps I need to do more road trips…
There seems to be some confusion about the time I need before a session – but it’s very simple. I don’t sit in my dungeon waiting for the phone to ring. I lead a very busy life actually, between my partner of eight years, working another job, two collared slaves, a boy and pup under my training and volunteering heavily in the Brisbane Kink community.
For any session I also like time to prepare before hand. I’ll find out what you have done and put together a plan in my head from that discussion. Not having sessions booked the day before means I can also plan what I might do that night, or even enjoy a meal I wouldn’t normally eat (garlic prawns perhaps) if I was having a session the next day.
So while I’m flattered that you are so excited that you want a session at 4am in the morning with 30min notice before hand, chances are I won’t even be looking at my phone until 8am the next morning.
I also respect that you might also lead a busy life and be trying to juggle things as best as possible but the 24hr notice rule isn’t just some Dom mind game – it exists for a reason.
A first session with a Pro Dom should always be an exciting and nerve inducing experience – After all here is someone you know very little about, but will soon be surrendering to. Every man I have encountered for a first session has shown emotions ranging from a few butterflies in the stomach through to medium level anxiety and panic.
- It’s perfectly reasonable and normal to be nervous. Enjoy the feeling of being out of control and feeling alive.
- Check that you are feeling nervous for the right reasons. Hopefully by now if you are booking a session with a Pro Dom you have done your homework and know their skills and reputation.
- Let the Pro Dom know you are feeling nervous. I often get people to call me if I feel they are having a bad time before a session.
- A good Pro Dom will talk you through what to expect on the day of the session BEFORE you start.
- If when you turn up you are feeling very anxious let your Dominant know. If someone presents to a first session looking highly anxious I usually sit down with them and talk to them, or if they are ok with it give them a hug until they are feeling better.
So what can you expect when you book your first session with me?
I’ll talk to you about what is expected, ie. be showered and douched (if anal play is part of a session), be neither early or late and what to bring if anything. You can then ask me any questions before the day of the session. Payment is usually required before the session starts for first sessions.
What would a first time session entail?
On the day of the session I’ll meet you at the door and take you into the space and show you around. We will then talk about what you are expecting from the session and we will run through BDSM basics such as what a safe word is, if you have any injuries or areas I need to be aware of, and what we will be doing at the session. Depending on what the days actives entail I’ll show you what I’ll be using.
A good introductory session for me usually involves you kneeling on the mat naked. From there we will start with submissive/slave training, covering positions and getting you to worship my boots or body. I also tend to use rope bondage for beginners because it’s very tactile and combines well with other forms of BDSM play. At the end of the session you will kneel back on the matt at kiss my boots. From there I’ll get you to shower/dress and give you some sugar and a drink to keep sub drop away (more on this later). Here you can ask me questions although I usually suggest they wait a few days so things can solidify in your mind.
Pro Dom’s talk among each other, and one of the main gripes we have is the way people approach us. Please remember this is our passion and job. We are not 24/7 Fetish Fantasy machines that only exist to fulfill your desires – and while we do what we can to help we expect people to remember you want what we have and not the other way around.
These are written from my personal experiences as a Professional Sir who works with men, but I can tell you many of the Female Pro Dom’s on Fetlife echo my thoughts. These ladies however encounter these in far greater numbers that I ever do.
- Make sure you approach a Pro Dom with the same level of respect as you would ringing to apply for a job interview. If you are emailing or texting (remember not everyone will answer text messages) then be polite and to the point. Rambling, rude and disrespectful messages are the #1 bugbear of every Pro Dom I know.
- We love it if the person knows what they are looking for, however most people have no idea. Talk to the Pro Dom and try and give them an idea – HOWEVER we get numerous calls or messages from people who want you to spell out just what you are going to do to them. These people are never going to book a session and just want wank material. If the Pro Dom even gets a whiff of this expect to have your conversation cut very short.
- As with above let the Pro Dom know your level of experience – we like to hear it so we can plan.
- We don’t like pushy. Pushy lets us know you are not someone we want to have in our space. I recently had someone who got angry because I wasn’t answering his calls when he rang to see if he could book a session a few hours later – even though he knew I specifically ask for 24 hours notice. Our relationship ended very quickly. Please refer to point 1.
- We don’t want to see photos unless we have specifically asked for them. Unsolicited photos let us know you are probably never going to use our services and are just looking for wank material. So please don’t send dick photos, photos of your ass or photos of you in lingerie unless we ask.
- If we ask questions it’s because we want to know more. We get prank callers and while they are usually easy to sift through, sometimes it’s not that easy. We also get people who book a session and don’t show. The Pro Dom will want a contact phone number – and many won’t answer a blocked number to being with. If you are concerned about your privacy then let the Pro Dom know that you can’t take phone calls or won’t between certain hours, give a reason. We encounter this regularly and can happily work in with it.
- If you are calling or contacting a Pro Dom I’d suggest you have some idea you are expected to pay for the service. The second biggest bugbear we face is people who want to quibble over the price or even expect it for free.
A session with a Pro Dom should be like treating yourself to a fine dinner at an expensive restaurant – not McDonalds. I can’t stress this enough – and you wouldn’t do it to your Doctor, Mechanic or Dentist. Again see point 1.
Overall we expect a level of respect and common courtesy. I know myself I don’t expect to be treated like a god, demi or otherwise. If you come in acting like an ass you will be ignored very quickly.
Sometimes there is joy in trying new things. I’d played with this kind of suspension point in my Dungeon, using it mainly to restrain. I had also hung off it a few times to test just how it would hold up against a body weight. Satisfied with the results I ran it through my first suspension test on 13.
A three rope TK harness on his chest – 13 was suspended from a single rope wrapped tightly around a rough tree trunk with two ‘beaners. Quick and dirty but suited the weekend perfectly.
While attending IML in America earlier this year I lost one of my vintage motorcycle gauntlet gloves somewhere while walking around the markets. I was suitable disappointed to be left with one, and even after lots of asking around and searching the missing glove never surfaced.
Fast forward almost half a year and my boy in training presented me with a new pair in a wonderful gift. He had found a pair on Ebay in America that were in very bad condition and has lovingly restored them with some bootblacking into an amazing pair of gloves.
They are wonderfully snug and have a vintage leather smell to them still, mixed with the smell of the new conditioner and dye. I’m extremely honoured and proud to have them to wear. Thank you 13.
You can now follow my antics on both Twitter and Tumblr. Of course I’ll also be sharing things I think are hot on both of these social networks, and probably be linking back to here when I post new blog entries.
You can follow me on Twitter through @ProfessionalSir or go to my Tumblr blog at http://gay-master-australia.tumblr.com
While my journey in all this started with Rope Bondage (more on that later) – the thing that really gets my hot and bothered (in both senses) is Impact Play.
For those unaware Impact Play involves hitting people with, well, hitty things. From paddles, crops, canes, tawse, floggers, whips and various bits in-between.
This kind of play has a lot of appeal for me, firstly it helps people figure out where they lay on the masochist scale. Someone who likes a bit of pain will respond naturally to this type of play.
Hitting with floggers is a great way to start. Floggers are often known as whips, basically long tails of leather, rubber or other material attached to a handle. Flogging doesn’t have to be about pain, it can quite easily be about caressing or sensation. However done right it can drop you very easily into a submissive headspace as your body flood with chemicals in reaction to what is going on.
For me Impact Play is primal, masculine and sexy. It combines very easily with things like fucking when someone is spread eagle on the cross (or between my poles in my dungeon).
The downfall of most impact play is the risk of non-permanent marks to the skin. Crops and canes leave noticeable welts, floggers and whips can leave lovely red lines depending on the ferocity they are used with. Paddles and spanking redden the skin (which does go down rather quickly).
If you are going to engage in this activity then the submissive needs to be very aware that if the risks of marks are too high, then not to engage at that time. You can do things without leaving marks however and some activities are far more low risk mark wise than others (gut punching, Bastinado).
Hopefully I’ll be posting my ranting and small wisdom’s here. God know’s I have a lot to say about most things, so this might provide me my soapbox.
Stay tuned for more great entertainment…